Sinatra Children's Center

NOTE: If parents or loved ones are concerned something may have happened, they should seek an assessment from a professional who specializes in child sexual abuse treatment.

BEHAVIORAL INDICATORS of abuse are meant to serve as signals to alert concern and do not necessarily mean that a child is being sexually abused. Children may experience some of these symptoms as a result of normal development or other kind of stress. The more extreme or compulsive these behaviors may be, the more reason for concern. If indicators are present, it may be time for parents and/or caregivers to ask their children if they have been abused. Many children are told that bad things will happen if they don't keep the abuse a secret. They need to be assured such threats are only tricks and it is safe to tell. Remember, most child victims never tell, so always leave the door open for future discussions.

Preschool Children:

* child describes inappropriate sexual contact.
* serious depression.
* sleep disturbances, nightmares.
* genital or anal injuries, pain, irritation or discharge.
* sexual play/sexualized behavior
* compulsive masturbation
* regressive behavior, i.e., bedwetting, baby talk, sudden clinging behavior.
* inserts objects into his/her genitals or anus.
* crying without provocation.
* suddenly fearful of specific things, people, places.

School Age Children:

* child describes inappropriate sexual contact.
* serious depression.
* sleep disturbances, nightmares.
* genital or anal injuries, pain, irritation, or discharge.
* sexual play/sexualized behavior.
* compulsive masturbation.
* regressive behavior, i.e., bedwetting, baby talk, sudden clinging behavior.
* stomach aches or other psychosomatic ailments.
* unusual knowledge and interest in sex beyond development level.
* school problems, difficulty focusing on tasks.

Adolescent Young People:

* child describes inappropriate sexual contact.
* serious depression.
* self-destructive behaviors, i.e., drug use, promiscuity.
* inability to trust others.
* pseudo maturity.
* extreme confusion regarding sexual identity.
* self-inflicted injuries, i.e., hair pulling, digging, or cutting skin.
* aversion toward opposite sex.
* sexual interest in younger children.

If Your Child Is Molested:

* DO listen to the child in as calm a manner as possible. Under-react.
* DO reassure the child that no matter what happened, it was not his or her fault and he or she is not in trouble for telling.
* DO allow the child to talk to you as much or as little as she wants.
* DO accept what the child is telling you and don't prejudge what may have occurred. DO understand if your child initially discloses sexual abuse to someone else.
* DO seek professional treatment to obtain knowledge, support, and healing for the child and, possibly, yourself.
* DO report the abuse to local authorities.
* DO help the child maintain normal daily routines.
* DO remember you are the key to the child's healing. The child needs physical safety and support from caring adults.
* DON'T ventilate your anger or other feelings in front of the child.

The child may feel at fault for upsetting you and may regret disclosing the abuse.

* DON'T ask thechild "why" questions, i.e., why were you there?, why didn't you tell me right away? "Why" questions make children feel guilty.
* DON'T drill thechild to obtain all the facts; Thechild may think it means you don't believe him or her.
* DON'T dismiss the child's report because it contains things that are improbably or difficult to believe.
* DON'T be upset if the child discloses outside the family; the child may be very concerned about your reaction or may have been threatened not to tell you.
* DON'T attempt to handle your feelings and concerns along. Family members and associated adults may also need support.
* DON'T attempt to resolve the situation on your own. Don't confront the suspected person.
* DON'T treat thechild any differently; thechild may feel something is wrong with him or her.
* DON'T lose your optimism. Children can and do heal with your loving support and specialized professional treatment.

Regrettably, child abuse is not a new problem -- it is as old as humanity. What is new, however, is that society is beginning to effectively deal with the problem. The non-profit Barbara Sinatra Children's Center at Eisenhower is testimony to that fact. Our program is working; abused children are regaining their childhood. The Barbara Sinatra Children's Center's experience since its opening in 1986, at a ceremony with Barbara and Frank Sinatra in attendance, is being shared with other communities throughout the world via this web site. When Barbara and Frank Sinatra opened their Center they promised no child who needs help will be turned away due to inability to pay for treatment. Frank Sinatra devoted extensive personal and professional time and energy to the Center that bears his wife's name. Her commitment to that pledge and the children who look to her for help has not waivered. We invite your inquiries about what we are doing at the Center -- together, we can make a difference.

BARBARA SINATRA CHILDREN’S CENTER
EXPANDS ADULTS MOLESTED AS CHILDREN
COUNSELING PROGRAM

Community Interest Generates Second Support Group

The Barbara Sinatra Children's Center at Eisenhower has added a second Adults Molested as Children (AMAC) Support Group on Thursdays from 4:00pm to 5:00pm to accommodate community interest; another group currently meets Wednesdays, 4:00 pm to 5:00pm. The groups are open to the public and parents of children counseled at the Children’s Center. The groups meet at the Children’s Center’s Eisenhower Medical Center facility in Rancho Mirage, CA. AMAC counseling brings together a small group of adults who discuss issues related to having been molested as children.

"Most adults molested as children share common problems. Many have never spoken about their abuse and feel isolated and alone," explains Clinical Director, Rosemary Marta. "They may think they are the only person who experienced this horror as a child. Our group discusses daily struggles, experiences and how childhood abuse may have affected their adult lives.” Adults molested as children often suffer from depression and have difficulty sustaining loving relationships. It is quite typical for people to be frightened and nervous about entering into adult, nurturing relationships.

"Often adults who were molested as children feel that since their abuse happened many years ago, there is no point in them getting help," adds Ms. Marta. "The emotional challenges they may face are rooted in their abuse and can be overcome." Facing issues central to our daily lives, like trust and intimacy, can help build healthy relationships even at an advanced stage in life. The AMAC group provides an opportunity to work through anger and uncertainty.

The mission of the non-profit Barbara Sinatra Children’s Center at Eisenhower is to counsel physically, sexually and emotionally children and to focus on preventing and breaking the cycle of abuse. For additional information on the AMAC group or the Barbara Sinatra Children’s Center, call 760-340-2336.

The Cost of Ignoring Child Abuse

By Children's Center Clinical director Rosemary Marta, MFT and Maria LaRosa, MFT

We work with abused children every day. And as gut-wrenching as it is to hear their stories, we know that these children are the lucky ones.
How can a girl who was repeatedly raped by her stepfather be considered lucky? How can young brothers beaten by a drug-addicted parent be considered fortunate? Itís because theyíre getting help.

Without treatment, children who are treated violently often grow up to become abusers themselves. And they suffer long-term health consequences. In fact, according to a recent study by the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention on the long-term effects of child abuse, participants abused as children were 103 percent more likely to smoke, 95 percent more likely to become severely obese (placing themselves at greater risk for obesity-related diseases such as diabetes, high blood pressure and heart disease), 43 percent more likely to become suicidal, 103 percent more likely to become alcoholics and 192 percent more likely to develop drug addiction or chemical dependency problem.

Other findings from the study showed child abuse victims were more likely to have higher rates of sexually transmitted diseases, more likely to engage in risky sexual behavior as a teen, more likely to be involved in a teen pregnancy, have more medical problems throughout their lives and higher rates of absenteeism from school and work.

Intervention can change these sad consequences. Treatment for the abused child and his or her family can help to break the generational cycle of abuse, and dramatically reduce long-term medical, emotional and behavioral problems. Hope can replace fear and shame, and childhood can be reclaimed.
It is impossible to overstate the tragic toll that physical, sexual or emotional abuse takes on a child. From where we sit, itís equally impossible not to do everything possible to prevent and treat their suffering. Now, during Child Abuse Awareness Month, we urge you to do the same.

Rosemary Marta and Maria LaRosa are clinicians at the non-profit Barbara Sinatra Childrenís Center at Eisenhower, a national leader in counseling sexually, physically and emotionally abused children and breaking the generational cycle of abuse. For more information, call 760-340-2336

Child Abuse: What Are We Talking About?

By Susan Reynolds, Executive Director

The concept of child abuse is abhorrent to most people. But how many of us truly understand the reality of what abused children suffer?

The reality is that, without intervention, young lives are in jeopardy. Nearly four children die every day in the U.S. as a result of child abuse and neglect. As many as one in four girls and one in 10 boys are sexually abused by age 18. Untreated, abused and neglected children are far more likely than others to suffer from lifelong depression, alcoholism, drug abuse, eating disorders, require special education, and become juvenile delinquents and adult criminals.

The reality is that child abuse and neglect permeate society, affecting children of all ages, races and socio-economic levels. And it takes many forms. Physical abuse is beating, burning or punching a child. Sexual abuse includes rape, sodomy, touching/fondling or involving a child in pornography. Emotional abuse can involve criticizing, insulting, rejecting or withholding love from a child. Neglect is characterized by failure to provide for a childís basic physical, emotional or educational needs, leaving a child home alone or failing to provide needed medical care.

Please don't look away. Now, during Child Abuse Awareness Month in April, take time to understand the problem. Report suspected abuse and neglect. And support programs that provide counseling and protection for abused children and their families. The reality is that each of us has the power to prevent child abuse.

Susan Reynolds is executive director of the non-profit Barbara Sinatra Childrenís Center at Eisenhower in Rancho Mirage, CA. The Children's Center's mission is to counsel physically, secually and emotionally abused children and to focus on breaking the cycle of abuse. For more information, call 760-340-2336.